Sunday, June 5, 2011

Who Ate the Cheese?

It began normal enough; as normal as any day can be when in the house you have two parents, a pint size and three teenagers, two of whom are football players; one of those big, strong, fit and hungry; one smaller, fit and hungry; the third a girl fighting for her share. Yes it had been quite a regular day as six people pulled up their chairs to the dinner table that evening and looked upon a feast of Sheppard’s Pie with layers of bubbly cheese on top. It was truly a dinner fit for a king with salad and garlic bread to accompany the main dish, even though we all know that sheppards probably didn’t eat salad and garlic bread (but then it wasn’t sheppards sitting at the table).
There was the usual banter skipping about the dinner table that evening with enough ribbing to go around; leaving no one out. The football players rehashed their strategies, the parents reviewed their options, the girl tried to take part in both discussions and the pint size tried as best he could to squeeze a word in every once in a while but eventually he just gave up and ate his Sheppard’s Pie and munched on his garlic bread. Everyone was full!
Surprising as this may seem there was leftovers after the meal was over. That must have been some whopper of a dish of Sheppard’s Pie to feed that crew and still have some left. It was time to clean up and as previously agreed that was the kid’s job, with the pint size being allowed to go out to play for just a while longer before bed time. The parents had gone outside to satisfy their bad habit and get away from the chaos, expecting things to be cleaned up by the time they returned inside.
Supper mess and dishes had been cleaned up all right but a loud roar in the kitchen clearly indicated something was not in order. The gavel sounded and court was in session, Judge MOM presiding, Clerk of the Court DAD in waiting. First witness to be questioned without privilege of council……..Pint Size. “Did you consume the cheese from the top of the Sheppard’s Pie leftover dish?” was the question posed. Cowering in fear, Pint Size quickly replied “No”. “Then who did” came the second question. “Not me” replied Pint Size. (That Not Me again………guilty every time.) They were each questioned in turn, the young lady then each of the football players, all again, without privilege of council. All replied with the same answers; “No” and “Not Me”. Right Honorable Judge MOM was furious and Clerk of the Court DAD still waited. Since no one would own up to eating the cheese, since the judge had narrowed her decision to between the two football players and since the football player who was big, strong, fit and hungry (well not hungry anymore) was the family member (the other football player was a guest) and responsible for the behavior of the other, she was holding him responsible for the missing cheese…………or so it seemed. He was badgered long into the night, missing the football game he had tickets for, which really ripped him, but all to no avail. It was never discovered ‘who ate the bloody cheese’. Remaining a mystery to this very day, I’m unsure as to whether the truth will ever be revealed or if will lie buried forever in the Cheese graveyard.
Judge MOM may never again make Sheppard’s Pie with cheese on top or if she does it is quite certain the leftovers will never be alone with the cleanup crew.

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