Middle of the night you wake under necessity to use the lou (sp); still half asleep you stumble out of bed, head in the general direction of the facility; get yourself aimed (so you think) at the doorway (where inside you can relieve this urge that threatens to embarrass you); you make a dash for the saving grace of the white bowl; CRASH!; a few minutes later, very much awake in spite of colored flashing stars floating around your head, you find yourself sitting on the floor in a pool of something very wet. I'll be a skunk's cousin if some dumb shit hasn't closed the door to the bathroom & I have just peeeeed all over the bloody floor! How gracious is that and who would close the bathroom door?
My logic says the bathroom door shall remain open unless in use (even then it sometimes remains open unless there is company in the house). Hmmmm.
Early riser, I wake ready for the day (or so I think). Even though once I have wakened I don't seem able to get back to sleep, I still feel slightly less conscious than required to function fully, but I step into my slippers, shuffle out of the bedroom and down the hallway toward the kitchen & my morning cup of tea. Rubbing my eyes as I near the mark.......another CRASH! This crash didn't cause loss of bodily functions or require me to pick myself up from the runway but a finger from the hand that was rubbing found its way inside my eye & now I'm blinded on one side. Wonderful! Now some dumb shit has left the pantry door open and I am unable to see from one eye for at least 13 minutes. Almost as gracious as the bathroom incident and who would leave the pantry door open anyway?
My logic says the pantry door shall remain closed unless one is getting supplies from within (after which it shall be closed again). Hmmmmm.
Moving right along with my day I decide to see what's on the tube. I catch the name of a new movie that looks interesting........Oh, let's write that down so I don't forget the name (seems my memory gets shorter with each passing day); I reach for the writing stick I have left on the end table to make my note; just like magic it has disappeared; left for parts unknown! Now, on the way into the living room I tripped over a fishing box, picked up a dirty cup, dirty socks & doggy toys all about the floor, collected used tissues for the garbage, searched out the TV remote (from another lifetime)....but alas no writing stick! Some dumb shit has decided to put away the bloody writing stick! After a 20 minute search I found it in a cup where all the other writing sticks were kept. Who would choose to 'put away' something so tiny & insignificant yet leave all the other crap laying around?
My logic says there should be something to write upon and with, in the room I watch TV so I can make notes if I want and all the other crap whose home is not the room where I watch TV, should be picked up, put away or thrown away by the person who left it/them there. Hmmmmmm.
Now I say, whose logic is it anyway......?
2 comments:
I'll tell you what my parents would always say to me in moments like these...."Easy, Breezy!" I was an absolute klutz to the nth degree when I was a kid. I still am but the occurrences are less frequent. Granted, your mishaps were due to open/closed doors and difficult to locate items and not attributable to klutziness but all the same, my dear...take 'er easy. It must be an odd feeling to be 'abused' by one's home. Tell it to smarten up!
Wow, day from hell... glad that door was closed :)
Now is this fiction or truth that is stranger than fiction??? Good story in any case - my logic says you've recovered from your "embarassment" and "sightlessness" but how can you ever recover from "penlessness" ...but then again, whose to say you won't.
:)
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