Friday, May 7, 2010

Spropchucker on the Loose

Well if he isn't just a poodlefaker I don't know what you would call him; with his winklepickers tied up tight; his tongue wagging like the neighborhood quidnunc; now taken up with that termagant from across the street.
In his estimation things seemed to be unfolding in his favor but before long life seemed to come tumbling down.........
Having already been convicted of moral turpitude he became so discombobulated when he realized he was facing her metanoia that he feared he might be charged again because he wasn't exactly sure how he could handle the situation in a cool, calm, collected manner. He knew however that many people here supported the accidentalism theory so he was fairly certain he could engineer an event that would not be at all associated with any act of his making. If she insisted on the path she seemed to be going down, all he needed to do was set up a kerfuffle while they were out and as attention was focused on that situation he could make little of her in a big hurry.
Finally he had it figured out.........he listened to the susurrus coming from the trees and the mellifluous notes from the radio......
On that note, be sure not to put your oxter near the bunghole; it may have tittynope on the edge...............:)
Now if that isn't just the dumbest thing I ever wrote! Let's try a little bit different version of the story shall we?
Well if he isn't just a man given to taking tea with the ladies I don't know what you would call him; with his boots tied up tight; his tongue wagging like the neighborhood gossip; now taken up with that quarrelsom shrew of a woman from across the street.
In his estimation things seemed to be unfolding in his favor but before long life seemed to come tumbling down..........
Having already been convicted of moral conduct contrary to standards of justice, honesty and good morals, his composure became so upset when he realized he was facing the possibility of her changing her mind, that he feared he might be charged again because he wasn't exactly sure he could handle the situation in a cool, calm, collected manner. He knew however that many people here supported the theory that events do not have a cause, so he was fairly certain he could engineer an event that would not be at all associated with any act of his making. If she insisted on the path she seemed to be going down all he needed to do was set up a commotion while they were out and as attention was focussed on that situation he could make little of her in a big hurry.
Finally he had it figured out........he listened to the soft rustling sound coming from the trees and the sweet sounding tones from the radio....
On that note, be sure not to put that space under your arm near the hole used for filling barrels and kegs (possibly with something unpleasant, who knows); it may just have a small quantity left behind on the edge.............:)
What's a 'spropchucker'.......? I don't know; just some word I made up.

1 comment:

Linda J said...

Capricious entertainment, both ludicrous and absurd but side-splittingly hilarious.

Merely platitudinous interjections.

:)